Things I Think About At 27

July 27, 2013 § Leave a comment

1. How did I gain 30 pounds in 2 years?
2. Why don’t my college jeans fit anymore?
3. Is 27 too late to make my big break as a young writing prodigy?
4. How many calories does my dinner have?
5. I hope my parents’ finances hold steady.
6. When will I finally live in a structure that doesn’t charge $4 in quarters for laundry?
7. Does this dress make me look like I gained 30 pounds in 2 years?
8. I hope my mom goes first.
9. I don’t really want to go to happy hour. I’d rather collapse on the couch.
10. What will my mom do with all the cats?
11. But I’m still too young to sleep all night instead of going out.
12. I’m not the ideal housewife. And I’m not sorry.
13. I’m so glad I’m not pregnant right now.
14. Yoga will make me shed those 30 pounds, right?
15. I need a new dress for this wedding.
16. What if the chemo doesn’t work?
17. I can’t wait for vacation.
18. I should paint my nails more often.
19. Can my mom live on her own?
20. I feel more 17 than 27.
21. Where’d the rest of my 20s go?
22. Is 27 really too young to hear, “But you look so good!”
23. I hope I’m still top copywriter next year.
24. I think Dad wants to be cremated.
25. Why do I keep having wedding nightmares a year after my wedding?
26. Cremation’s probably cheaper.
27. He’s gonna worry most about the cats, though. When it’s time, I’m mixing his ashes with Lady’s and Rebel’s and Molly’s and Gabby’s and scattering them all together. He’ll like that. I hope the chemo works.

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